If you were a woman in 1892
There'd be a lotta things you couldn't do
You always had to work and clean
And you couldn't leave your husband if he was mean
And you couldn't really speak your point of view
You couldn't really work or play or even exercise
When you're living in a man's world and you're not one of the guys
But the weirdest thing girls couldn't do
From cascadia to France
Is they could never ever never ever never never wear pants!
They couldn't wear pants?!
They couldn't wear pants.
Well if they didn't wear pants, what did they wear?
What did they wear? What did they wear? Well first of all, they had to wear like 20 pounds of underwear.
First there was the corset, laced really really tight
If you couldn't really breathe
They'd say it fit just right
Then you'd have to wear ten petticoats
When it would rain they would get soaked
You would drink tea and play croquet
In booty boosting bustiers
It was awful hard to get around
With all these heavy clothes
It made it really easy to keep women in the home
Wow...that sounds awful.
Oh! Don't worry! The story gets a lot better.
Great! What happens next?
Someone invents the bicycle!

Women couldn't really ride with all those extra clothes
So the petticoats got lighter and the corset had to go
But oh what an embarrassment
When you were riding by
And your petticoat got caught and over handlebars you'd fly

In 1895 Ethel dermont thought of a solution
"I'll wear some bloomers!" she said with a determined absolution
They look a lot like pants,
They'd been around for 50 years
But people said that women wearin pants was really weird.

April 15th was the day she took her fateful ride
The people of Victoria were truly scandalized

Oh what a scandal
Oh what a sight
Parading in her underwear in broad daylight
Was that a touch of ankle
Was that a bit of skin
These infernal garments are such a horrible sin!

The police were aroused to action! Women's freedom they detested

"You wear that bloomer suit again, you'll surely be arrested!"

Have you nothing better to do than harass me while I'm out
I don't understand what all this kerfuffle is about!
Why is it that a strong women is what men fear?
We all deserve to share the right to wear pants upon on our rear
Ill turn my bike around, yes you cops have won today
But the wheels of change are coming and I'm here to lead the way
We can be good wives and mothers if we choose that life to spend
But a woman should not be defined by her relationship to men
(Harrumph!)

The news spread far and wide
of Ethel's groundbreaking bike ride
And the people agreed
That those rules were just silly
So now we can wear pants
Without thinking twice
So don't forget this story the next time you ride your bike!